Defenders--Game 10

Anthony throwing first pitch, Taylor ready at 2nd and Joel daydreaming in right about new ways to make an out on the basepaths

Still basking in the glow of our surprising victory over the first place Giants, I attended a Pirate-Yankee game with the Commish and his 6-month old son Jake the following day. It was bat day, and the deep-pocket corporate Yankees do the right thing and actually give out real Louisville Sluggers to all kids 12 and under. We felt that Jake needed a bat to cement his lifelong love of the game. The first time I saw Jake (about a month after his debut), his dad and I were talking baseball as dad held Jake. The conversation turned to the asterisk (Bobblehead Bonds) and the boy immediately began crying. Both of us took that as a sign that the boy is a ball fan and against steroids and HGH. So with that background, we scored a bat for the boy and proceeded to watch bp. Somehow, the bat got misplaced, so Jake's dad (name withheld for obvious reasons) decided to get another bat for the boy. Unable to turn down the smiling child, the grizzled usher melted and gave the boy another Louisville Slugger. It turned out that Jake's dad's friend had actually been holding the bat and now we had a dilemma of having 2 bats. We quickly resolved that Anthony, the stud hurler for the Defenders and the biggest ball fan (as well as Yankee fan) should be the recipient of the accidentally procured extra bat. It was a beautiful day and a great time with good friends and who really remembers the outcome of the contest--not that it mattered anyways. Jake with dad at Yankee Stadium

After leaving the hallowed stadium in the Bronx (with the accidentally procured additional bat), I proceeded back to our own little field of dreams to satisfy the milkshake wager I had made with Anthony on the outcome of the Pirate-Yankee series. As a word of caution to any of you out there thinking of getting into coaching, my years of experience have taught me that you should not make the same bet with multiple kids on the same event. I had done that previously and it cost me a small fortune in milkshakes--and besides, if I had won, how was I going to drink 5 milkshakes in one day anyway? One should have some sense of responsibility in gambling with adolescents--it also teaches them how to gamble responsibly. And for any of you do-gooders who think that gambling with these kids is wrong, you probably also think it is wrong to pitch inside to these kids and have the occasional 'purpose' pitch hit them or knock them down as well--and once you eliminate that--where does that leave room for any fun in coaching?

I met Anthony and tossed him the bat. I had entertained the thought of trying to get out of my milkshake obligation by telling him he could have the bat instead--but it did not seem right and after seeing his face light up at the sight and feel of the wooden bat, I realized that trying to do so would sully the moment so I told him the bat was a gift from Jake and his Commish dad. I had Anthony hit some grounders to me, and I honestly can not tell you who enjoyed that more. He was smiling making me run all over the place, and I was smiling as I reverted to a 11 year-old being hit grounders by my dad. It was very refreshing hearing a 'crack' of the bat instead of the 'ping' that you hear with aluminium. We finished the day quaffing down non-spoiled milkshakes and ice cream and departed with smiles and anticipation of a good practice the next day.

Everyone showed for practice on the Monday after our upset win (everybody loves a winner) and we proceeded to an open field for drills (Mondays are the easiest day to find an open field). As we started walking across the field, a couple of kids noticed a cat laying by the fence. The cat looked like it could either be pregnant or deranged--it was not moving much and was in a defense posture. Kevin was ready to go prod it when I very authoritatively declared that it was a feral cat and they needed to stay away. I do not know why I used that term, but it sounded ominous enough to make them think twice about going over to torture the feline.

"What does that mean coach?" asked Quincy.

"It means if it scratches you, you can get rabies and that its saliva is poisonous. If it hisses at you it could burn your skin." I told them, thankful that they were clueless to animal husbandry issues and any other knowledge about these animals. It worked because everyone gave the cat wide berth and the little feline had no idea how thankful it should be to the coach.

We had a good practice, doing some throwing drills and bp with teams. the kids really like the team bp concept we do and it keeps bp spirited, competitive and interesting. They do get pissy with me when I call strikes or enforce helmet rules, but overall it is the best way to run a bp and not have kids bored to death in the field.

Ralph, now fully accepted by the squad after his dominating performance, has started asserting himself (albeit very slightly) at these practices. He actually said a sentence, although it was only to say, "No, you guys only have 5 runs.", it was an amazing moment. He also ran out and out waited Joel at third and forced him to the outfield. Seeing someone as shy as Ralph stepping up like that makes it really worthwhile doing all this insanity they call coaching. Tytee is another example of this phenomenon. She has gone from being a batter who goes up and poses in the batters box to a player who you feel can actually be productive and help the team. Kenny is in love with her (as well as about 153 other girls/women/assorted females) and I am constantly telling him to leave her alone and to quit trying to hug her. He had insisted on having me take a picture with her at the pizza place during our last celebration and after he triumphantly went to wait for us outside, she asked to look at the picture and then very quietly asked if I would delete the picture, which I of course did. We both just smiled as I removed any evidence of the moment.

Tytee batting vs. LICH

The Monday practice was interrupted by a nice grandmother who asked if her grandson could play on the team. I told her the season was almost over but that he could practice with us. She asked if I would be responsible for the kid, and I agreed , never quite coming up with a common agreement on what 'responsible' exactly entailed. The kid was only 7, but was a big kid and handled himself well. Definitely a future Defender. I decided to end the bp when I realized that other than Coach Chris in right, I had Tytee, Clayvon and Anthony gossiping in center, Kenny, Ashley and Josh gossiping in left, (having cute girls on a team has its distinct advantages and disadvantages) Ralph at third and Joel, Kevin and the new kid trying to climb a tree behind the backstop. Everyone was cool with ending the practice so I packed the gear and looked for the kid I was allegedly responsible for. I heard what seemed like really big squirrels in the tree and I realized it was the 3 kids literally going too far out on a limb. I ordered them down and Kevin and the new kid just dropped like ripe fruit from a tree. I made sure Jeremy was going to walk the new kid back to the building they both shared when Kevin started yelling, "Oh, gross, he's making pee!" I looked over and saw water (or what I thought was water) falling from the tree. It was a gorgeous blue sky day and I knew it was not rain. Apparently Joel thought it was a good idea to take a whiz from his perch in the tree so we all scattered and I just shook my head as I entered the sanctuary of the Defendermobile wondering again why I did this stuff.

Wednesday's practice was less eventful. My top players all had called, or had their mom's call, and I was left with the lower part of my line-up at practice, which was actually good since they could all get extra attention. Clayvon showed up and immediately pulled a pork chop out of his pocket and finished eating it before taking the field. We tossed the ball a bit and he was throwing wildly.

"It's the salt." he said.

"What?" was all I could reply.

"The salt. The pork chop was too salty and it's making me throw funny." he claimed. I gave him a load of crap for that and told him to start throwing correctly.
Taylor was also at practice. She seems to have taken some of the talks her mother and I had with her and I really want her to be at practice because she can hit the ball good when she gets

enough practice. We really need a consistent batter in the lower middle of our order. She had a good practice and promised that she would be attending regularly and that her and Tytee had resolved their differences. If we can get her, Tytee and Ralph (as well as Clayvon) being more confident at the plate, we will have a formidable squad to contend with in the playoffs.

Taylor fending off a pitch

Tytee, Ashley and Clayvon all told me they would be at their prom (8th grade dance) on Friday and would not be able to make practice. I quizzed the girls as to who they were going with, if the kid was a good kid and if their parents had met the kid. Ashley, being rather new, was a bit cautious in answering me. Tytee, knowing that I look after all my kids, especially the girls, quickly told me her mom had met her date.

"Did she approve of him?" I asked.

"Yeah, she said he seemed nice, but that if he got stupid with me that she would cut him."

Coach stayed quiet and didn't feel the need to know any more details on this matter.

Friday practice had a full squad minus the prom-goers, Taylor (who said she was sneaking into the dance) and Quincy, who had disappeared yet again after making it to Monday's practice. We had a special guest at practice--my dad had arrived in town the night before. He wanted to see the squad in action. I realized I was going to be late for practice so I called Jeremy and told him to tell everyone I would be 20 minutes late. I was 8 minutes late. Kenny was waiting and said I owed him a lap for being late. I countered with the fact that I had said I would be 20 minutes late and I was only 8 minutes late, so really I was 12 minutes early. He seemed confused with my Nick Logic, and I relished being able to quiet the boy--even if just temporarily. I made the kids all introduce themselves to my dad and Anthony, our resident baseball expert, immediately ingratiated himself to the old farm boy by denouncing the Pirate manager. He gained more points by showing off his wooden bat that he now uses in practice. Coach Chris appeared and we wanted to impart to the team how important this win was for us regarding playoff seeding. If we won, we would play the 0-10 team, use Christian and Jeremy in the first round as our pitchers and be able to save the Ralphinator and Anthony for the big Saturday playoff against Southern Trucking. Besides, LICH had played a very spirited and close game the night before and I did not want to be their only win of the year. We had a fairly good practice, but the kids started in-fighting and I called a meeting at the mound and told them in no uncertain terms that they were not to embarrass me in front of my father. I made very specific threats to them which I cannot reveal here because I believe the statute of limitations on terroristic threats is longer than 1 week--suffice to say, they calmed down just a tad. However, the inevitable softball league found their way to where we were practicing and the kids wanted to get in bp before leaving. Coach Chris and I would have rather left, but the kids found another field and we trudged across the street with all the gear to the field they call the stadium. It is a regulation size field and has lights and I was shocked that it was open. I was the last to arrive because I had to make sure the Friday game between LICH and Sunset was getting started since the commish was unable to make the game.

By the time I arrived at the stadium, the team was in full melt down. As a rookie coach, Coach Chris still catches a lot of flack from the older kids, especially Kenny, so we had to have another meeting. Kenny felt the coach had disrespected him by telling him to go to the outfield. As a loose rule, at some of the bp sessions, we let the bench players, especially Joel, play 2nd or 3rd since they do not get much action in the games. Kenny was offended. We muscled through bp and were getting ready to go over to watch the game. I told the kids, against better judgment, that I would buy them ice cream. However, when Coach Chris tried to address his irritation with Kenny, he turned his back on the coach, walked away 10 feet and pretended to tie his shoe. I cancelled the ice cream promise and told the team they could thank Kenny. Everyone was dour-faced as we went to watch the other game. Kenny kept saying "Go to the outfield!" much to the irritation of the rookie coach, who, admittedly was not in a good mood to start with (and being around a dozen energetic kids rarely is a panacea for such moods). Coach Chris decided to leave and I was pissed at Kenny for his disrespect to someone who has given so much time and effort. He kept trying to goof with me but I was having none of it. He finally figured out I was serious and left me alone, briefly. I had promised Kenny's granddad I would escort him home, and although I wanted to hang him from a flagpole, I did my duty. Kenny called me later that night to ask when the game was the next day. It meant he wanted to talk about what happened at practice. I spoke to him for about 10 minutes explaining why he had to respect all coaches and that if he felt that he had been disrespected, he should have addressed the matter. I told him he had to apologize to the coach. He thought he was being benched and I told him that he was not being benched, but that he needed to act right with the coach. I really think I got through to him. He asked what time I would be there in the morning and before I hung up he said he had one more thing to say,

"What's that Kenny?" I asked innocently.

"Coach Brett, Go to the outfield!" and he laughed as we hung up the phone. The boy does not hold a grudge.

Saturday, Kenny went right up to Coach Chris and apologized without any further prompting from the coach. I thought it would set a good mood for the day. Jeremy was going to miss the game, and Anthony, who had been moody of late, was going to take the mound. We were the

visiting team. Kenny took charge of the team and led them through the pre-game stretches. All the teams have their own personalities. The Yellow team fights amongst themselves the most.

The Blue team can be induced to argue and have incredible melt downs. The Red team, for a lousy 0-10 team, cheers the loudest and longest of all the teams, and our squad is the most gossiping squad to ever play the game. Clayvon, Tytee, Taylor and to a lesser degree, Anthony, can gossip with the best of them. It drives the coaches crazy sometimes because they forget a game is going on, but it builds camaraderie in its own bizarre way.

Team pre-game stretch--notice gossiping Clayvon

Kenny, who had only made 4 outs in 26 plate appearances, led off with a pop-up to short. Not a good beginning, but we quickly put 3 on the board with Anthony, Kevin and Josh all crossing the plate safely. Anthony k'd the first batter and then hit the next two. However, Kenny gunned out the first plunked batter with a nice throw to second on an ill-advised straight steal. A grounder to second should have ended the inning, but a seriously bad-hop that Taylor almost handled rolled into center. Christian, playing shortstop, made a wild throw home on the relay before Anthony ended the inning with another k. 3-1 after 1.

Tytee led off the second with a walk, Joel struck out and Ralph got his second hit of the year. He was so damn excited he threw the bat all the way to Long Island (actually to the back of the backstop) and the ump called him out--just the beginning of a long, weird day of keeping score.

It was still 3-1 going into the 3rd and we put 5 of the first 6 batters on base, but a lack of a slide at third resulted in Clayvon, who was safe, being called out for violating the 'must slide if there is a play' rule. He argued that the third baseman had tripped him and I countered with the fact that if he had slid as the coach had instructed, there would not have been an ability to be tripped. He countered with, "But he tripped me." and we let it go at that--another written out (outs that are too bizarre to score by standard baseball scoring systems--so I write it out in text in the scorebook). We scored two that inning and had a 5-1 lead.

Anthony struck out the first two batters and then gave up a single. The baserunner was lazy and Josh, playing first for the absent Jeremy, kept sneaking in for a throw. We had been practicing those throws so I told Kenny to load the gun and fire. Next pitch, Kenny head faked like he was throwing to second and zinged a throw to first and Josh tagged the kid out. It was as beautiful a play as you will ever see. It fired up our kids for the top of the 4th with us leading 5-1. Joel struck out, Ralph got a hit and took second on an error and third with a steal. Kenny was up and walked on a 3-1 pitch. The ball got past their fat catcher and as Kenny started towards first, he turned towards third and started waving Ralphie home. The pitcher, taking a detour towards the plate, collided with Kenny. The ump called the batter out and runner out and Kenny erupted like Mt. St. Helens. But we had heard wrong and it was the runner who was out and Kenny, after my attempts at calming him and cajoling him (finally threatening him), finally relaxed enough to take his base. Another written out for the scorebook. Anthony cleared the bases with a shot to right and had a legit 2 run homer. Kevin got on by an error (which I include in their on-base percentage ratings--against major league rules but who gives a *%*# about how they do things) followed by a hit by Josh. We ended up scoring 5 more (would have been 6 and enough to mercy but for the interference call) and were in command of the game. We took a 10-1 lead into the bottom of 4th inning.

Josh about to steal 3rd

Anthony wrapped 3 k's around 4 walks, and the ump announced we had 1 inning left due to time constraints. we had a 10-2 lead and the 3 seed was ripe for picking. Tytee led off with a walk and Joel, to all of our surprise, did not strike out but got a walk. Tytee had stole 2nd and 3rd and Joel, as he is wont to do, ignored Coach Lou's pleas for him to steal 2nd. Ralph k'd and Kenny, overdue this game, hit a line drive to deep center. Tytee took off for home but the centerfielder, holding her glove in the wrong position and with her eyes closed pocketed Kenny's rope. We all yelled for Tytee to get back to third, she was running back with the ump following to make the call when out of nowhere came Joel, head down and oblivious to all the other action, rounding third (in good form I must add) past the runner, past the now non-windmilling Coach Chris and past the running towards him ump as he headed to the plate. The ump, who was poised to make an out call just smiled, shook his head and said everybody was out and the team was quite pissed at Joel. He has been on base 3 times this year and has made 3 baserunning outs. He does not pay attention in practice and when he does come to practice he ignores all instruction--which was quite obvious in that inning. The team was getting mad at the ump for all the written outs that were being called and I kept reminding them we were winning the game. Anthony pitched the fifth, struggled a bit, but we kept him in more to satisfy his fragile psyche that out of need. He gave up a meaningless run, walked Natasha (a very cute girl for LICH) for the third straight time and closed out the 10-3 victory with a nice play on a difficult ball hit to the first base side of the mound. He garnered the game ball (as well as teasing about half of his walks to the cute girl) for all of his efforts.

We added a new wrinkle to our post-game celebration this game. There is a big municipal pool across the street from our fields. On the sidewalk/plaza area, there are picnic tables under some trees (all on concrete, of course). The pool is not yet open for the season and the plaza was empty, so we ordered pizza and had it delivered to the field area. We ate outside, the kids were able to run around instead of sitting in a hot pizzeria and we lingered for a good hour (all the coaches) after the pizza, just watching the kids play run-down, chase each other and ride Coach Chris' bike around. It was such a good moment that no one was yelling, complaining (they expressed concern about liquid emanating from the trees [I quickly made sure Joel was at ground level and not repeating his earlier performance] that looked suspiciously like bird piss and they were not buying my old farmer father trying to convince them that it was just sap from the tree) or even harassing little Joel or Kevin. The team all sat around and ate pizza as we discussed the efforts of all the players and talked about our upcoming preperation for the playoffs. The team was bonding well and playing well (won 5 of 6) and we all left with some positive feelings about the upcoming playoffs.

I had to drive Kenny home but I told him we were stopping by the Urban farm that was about 2 blocks away that a friend of mine, Ian, runs. I wanted my dad to visit the location. Kenny, happy to just be preoccupied with anything, said that was cool. Ian was not at the farm, but a couple of workers told us we could look around and also pick some of the ripe strawberries. I asked Kenny, knowing the answer, if he had ever had fresh off the vine strawberries. We showed him where they were, he waited to see if I would eat one and then he started. Natural sugar for the hyper-active boy. He didn't say a word as he scarfed down a dozen of the tempting, fleshy fruits ripe for the taking and I couldn't think of a better metaphor of where our team's season is at this point in time.

TEAM REGULAR SEASON BATTING STATS, ABBREVIATED VERSION

PLAYER P.A. ON BASE % (P.A. = Plate Appearances)

Kenny 30 .767

Anthony 27 .667

Kevin 21 .667

Jeremy 25 .600

Josh 26 .577

Christian 19 .429

Clayvon 19 .421

Ralph 25 .400

Quincy 10 .400

Tytee 18 .389

John 7 .286

Taylor 18 .278

Joel 14 .214

This week's results:

Hynes' Heroes 18 (Thurs.)

LICH 3

Sunset Park 14 (Fri.)

LICH 11

Gibbs' Giants 11 (Little Josh pitched a no-hitter)

Hynes' Heroes 0

Defenders 10

LICH 3

SoTruck 16

Sunset Park 8

FINAL STANDINGS:

Giants 8-2

SoTruck 8-2

Defenders 6-4

Heroes 4-6

Sunset Park 4-6

LICH 0-10

PLAYOFFS:

Sunset @ Heroes 6/21

LICH @ Defenders 6/22

6/21 winner @ Giants 6/23

6/22 winner @ SoTruck 6/23

As always, updates to follow.

Defenders--Game 9

Defendermobile enjoying a cleaning after a recent victory

The Monday practice following the victory over the Heroes was cancelled due to rain. We rescheduled for Wednesday because the fields would be bad Tuesday as well. This type of schedule disturbance usually throws off the equilibrium of the team for a few days. Tuesday came and it was beautiful so I called up my big 3 to see if they wanted to come to the field. I wanted to address the bad infield throws, especially from the catcher, as well as put in a deception play on defense. Anthony, Kenny and Jeremy were all waiting for me as I got to the field. Anthony has had his feathers up about not playing shortstop the past couple of games, so I put him in that position after quietly telling him I needed to see more effort out of him on the field. Anthony, during the Saturday game had made a very tender gesture to Kevin that made all the coaches happy. It was about the 4th inning and things were tense and Kevin was jazzed about a strike call the ump had made. To his credit, the boy only has 3 k's in 18 plate appearances so he does have a good batting eye. Anyway, Anthony calmly went up to him, handed him his glove as he put his shoulder around him and told him to calm down and focus on the defense. That inning is when Kevin made a nice play with the infield in to get the lead runner in a close game. I think that may be a turning point of the season.

As we strode across the field to the open and dry diamond, there was a prone figure in the dugout and Jeremy said, "There's a bum in the dugout!" I quickly reined in this situation by yelling at them to leave the bum alone. Kenny then started laughing and said it was probably Alex, the tip-cupping, recently disposed coach of the red team. I just shook my head as Kenny waited for a reaction and the best I could do was tell them to get in their positons as I tried wiping the big grin off my face. It turned out it was 2 teenagers necking, and after about 90 seconds of practice, the lovebirds abandoned their nest for quieter environs.
We practiced some throws from catcher to second and catcher to third and also put in our trick play that day. The play is for the catcher to quick throw to short, who is running in towards the pitcher, and shortstop to throw back to home when they are sending the runner from first when they have another one on third. The play is designed for them to think that we are throwing to second so they will send the runner from home and BAM, we catch a quick a out. The danger is 2 throws are involved, thus giving you 4 chances to screw up. It will be called rarely. We also discussed strategy and line-ups and I shared with them my plan to surprise them by starting Ralph instead of Anthony, and then bring Anthony in to close the game. I wanted to do this for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to see how he would pitch against a good hitting team [Giants went into the game on a 7 game winning streak and they scored at least 12 runs in each of the last 6 games ] and second, I wanted to let the Giants know my #2 starter can shut them down as well as my #1. They all agreed, including Anthony, and we discussed the fact that those who do not show to practice should not be getting a lot of ab's or playing time. We parted ways until the next day full squad workout.

Five people showed on Wednesday and we obviously could not do much of a workout. We went over some strategy, did some baserunning drills and did a quick bp. Anthony and Ralph warmed up their pitching arms as well. We told the five they would get to go to the batting cages the next day. We (the coaches) originally had planned splitting the team into two groups to take to the cages, but I really did not feel like rewarding the group who is intermittent at best when it comes to appearing for practice. By splitting the team into groups, it allows the coaches more time to work with kids on their swing, and we really wanted to get Ralph and Josh to start getting their bats in gear.

Jeremy, Ralph and Kenny at the batting cages

Kenny called Wednesday night after practice to tell me a bad joke. He then called back and I ignored his call. He tried calling me twice on Thursday (with the same result) and when I arrived at the fields to pick them up to go to the cages Kenny informed me that there was something wrong with my phone and that his calls were not getting through.

"I'll have to look into that Kenny." I said, wishing there were a sunglasses equivalent to help hide the smirk that was taking over my face at the moment. We had the kids take a few swings and discussed batting styles and strategies before piling into the vehicles to go to the cages. I admonished the kids that if they got in any trouble they would have to deal with it themselves or until their parents got there and that I would leave them if they started screwing around or left the cage area (there is a huge game room attached to the cages). I had to do the peremptory admonishment since some of the kids think that since I am a lawyer I can break the law, do anything I want and have the ability to get them out of trouble in a snap of the fingers. In the past, they have encouraged me to drive without a seatbelt, run stop signs and drive down one-way streets the wrong way as well as kick teams and people off the fields all with the same argument that I can do it 'because you're a lawyer'. Methinks they watch too much t.v.

The batting cages went well. I got Anthony to finally stop reaching (he had been doing that for 2 games now) and step closer to the plate. Kenny decided he could hit better by standing on his toes (bringing much laughter to myself and Anthony as we watched), and Josh finally stopped trying to use the bat as a butt-scratcher in the batters box and held the bat somewhat properly as he lashed out some line drives. Ralph was being very aggressive after I had him move his back foot 'out of the bucket' (getting his back foot even with his front foot at the plate) and I felt he could handle being moved up in the line-up. Jeremy slugged the ball and quit short-arming his swings. He is such a big kid, if he finds his groove, he may not make another out all year.

We returned to the field to toss the ball around some and to watch the big game between the Giants and Southern Trucking, both 6-1 going into the game. Tytee and Clayvon were at the field and Tytee offered to go change into practice gear. I told her to do it and Clayvon just sort of disappeared into the fringes. He doesn't take too well to practice, which is a shame because he would really benefit from it, but he is such a good presence on our team, I sort of let it slide. As long as I do not put him too high in the order the other kids do not mind either. Clayvon is bright and quick-witted and keeps the team loose on the bench with his joking and spontaneous rapping. The coach from the team we scrimmaged was at the other field and asked if we wanted to scrimmage again. I agreed and although we only had 6 kids, I pulled one of Tytee's friends into the game. Ashley is her name and she is a fast kid and very eager to learn the game. I told her later I was mad at her for not showing up earlier in the year. She would have made a good addition with her spunk and hustle. Tytee told me she (Ashley) had gone out with Kenny for a short time but dumped him because he was always goofing off. It made me like her more, and an unintended consequence of having her around was that it seemed to mute Kenny--at least for the time being. We had fun at the scrimmage--I do a pseudo social-psych experiment with the kids in these situations and allow them to play wherever they want. It is an interesting dynamic since the regular alpha males must take a back seat to the baseball-ability alpha males although it sometimes results in pure stubbornness by some and I may end up with 2 shortstops and no secondbaseman. We played a couple of innings and went to watch the rest of the Giants-SoTruck game that was tied up in the 4th inning.

Weekday games draw fairly large crowds since there is only one game and a lot of players/coaches appear to watch. This particular day was rewarding as a slew of former players streamed by the field on their way to or from practicing on the other nearby fields. Willis, the shortstop on my first team stopped by--he just finished his second year of college. Stephen, who played D-II ball for an upstate team came by along with Fletcher (a pitcher on my championship team from a couple years back), Willie (a former Defender), Manny (a former league MVP) and Junior all stopped by for a few minutes. These kids are all over 6' tall strapping young guys and involved in positive pursuits. It really makes those of us who run this league feel that all the time and effort was worthwhile when you see kids like them doing so well. The Giants mounted a big rally in their last at-bat getting 9 consecutive hits and they won the game handily 12-7. Our squad definitely had its work cut out for this coming Saturday.

I had an unofficial practice Friday (I had to be at the fields for the LICH-Sunset Park game). Kevin showed up, Anthony was there and Ashley appeared as well. We practiced throwing and then I pitched to them for a few minutes. Kevin, who I am starting to realize has a good eye, simply amazed me at this practice. Anthony asked to pitch to Kevin so that Kevin could get used to fast pitches. Kevin was zinging every pitch to the shortstop. Ashley was at second so I told Kevin to hit the ball to her. He pulled it down the first base line and I said, "No, hit it to the girl." He did. Twice in a row. It had to be a fluke, so I told him to hit it to third where Fat Gerald was playing. He is the former player (not a Defender, mind you) who started the row at practice the week before with Kevin. BAM, BAM two shots down the line. Kevin, smiling, asked, "Where do you want me to hit it now, coach." and he proceeded to hit the next two to where I told him. Kevin is moving up in the batting order, period. We went to watch the game (which was a resounding 16-1 loss for LICH) and during the game, I received a phone call from a restricted number.
"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Kenneth Tello's baseball coach?" asked the strange voice on the other line.
"Yes it is." I replied beginning to realize it was Kenny prank calling me.
"Yes, I need to report to you that Kenny broke his knee playing in the playground and will be out the rest of the season."
"O.K."
"Did you hear what I said? He will be out the rest of the season. He can't play anymore."
"That's O.K." I said without much concern, "We will be a better team without him anyway."
And then without giving him a chance to respond I continued, "Tell him I am leaving right now to come see him in the hospital. Where is he?"
"Um, he is in Methodist Hospital." came the startled reply.
"O.K., tell him we are on our way."
I was duly impressed with his next reply, which kept the facade going.
"Room 3218."
"What?"
"He is in room 3218."
"O.K. Thanks. Bye." and I hung up the phone. Coach Chris was standing next to me and we both laughed. About 30-40 seconds later my phone rang again.

"So you think the team is better without me?" said an irritated Kenny. I laughed.
"Kenny, I knew it was you the whole time. Quit screwing around, get to bed early and I will see you early in the morning."
"What time?"
"What time did I tell you?"
"Eight-o-clock."
"A.M." I said, and we both laughed at our team inside joke as we hung up the phone. Kevin, every time we talk about a game time or practice, asks with completely sincerity, "a.m. or p.m.?", even when we say practice Monday at 4:30, Kevin will ask, "a.m. or p.m.?" So that is our own little joke, and I explained to the kids that this type of humor is acceptable because we are not taunting or abusing the boy, just enjoying an innocent laugh. During the game, Kevin was pointing out mistakes the team was making in positioning themselves and in failing to make fundamental plays. I was proud that all the repetitive work and hollering appeared to be paying off as all the mistakes he pointed out were all accurate. I decided to do some reinforcement of the practicing we do and asked him why it was he knows those things. He just shrugged as the ice cream truck played its enticing song of seduction in the background. "Well, do you think the fact that we practice these things all the time may be helping you to learn the game correctly?" I asked.

"Coach, will you buy me an ice cream?" came the reply. And I repeated the question until I got the answer I wanted, and he repeated his question until he got the answer he wanted.

Anthony at the batting cages

Saturday was a beautiful day and it had rained about an hour during the night, just enough to hold the dust down. Our squad was there in force about 30 minutes prior to game time and we were looking ready. Quincy reappeared after about a 2 week absence. I teased him about his spaceship finally returned to earth, but told him he may not play since he had blown us off. He tried giving the 'I didn't have your phone number' line but no one was buying it. He would probably play a little bit anyways since he is such a good kid, and I am also a little bit afraid of his little 8-year-old brother. Christian appeared along with Taylor and Joel. None of that group had been to a practice in 2 weeks, so I decide the 4 of them would split 2 positions and the other 8 players would get to play the entire game. I was looking forward to playing the Giants for several reasons. They are the best team in the league, but I figured they would be cocky coming into the game since they have been dominating games. The coaches, both former players from the league, are good guys and have the right attitude about the game. The kids are all good kids and respectful, and they are well-coached and you have to be ready for them to take advantage of any little mistake your team will make. We raised some eyebrows by starting Ralph on the mound, especially since we had been saying that we would start Anthony all week. They started Joey after saying all week that Kareem would be starting. Anthony and Kareem are among the top 3 pitchers in the league. The gamesmanship had started and we didn't even get the first pitch of the game in yet.
We were the visiting team and I really wanted to jump these guys. I decided to bench coach so I could get the kids focused on their at bats. Lou was on first, Windmill Man Chris was on third and Sonia was her normal pillar of strength on the bench keeping the kids calm and focused and ensuring Kenny was not trying to sneak any Red Bull.

Kenny walked to lead off the game and did a beautiful delay steal on the first pitch to Anthony. Lou looked at me and said "I didn't send him." and I just smiled knowing Lou knows none of us can control Kenny when he gets on base. Kenny feels any time he is on base he should be on third within a few pitches, and he usually does just that. Anthony lashed a liner to left and we were up 1-0. We added another baserunner but could not score and we were up 1-0 after our first ab's. Josh was their first batter and he is a solid hitter. He bats left but consistently hits the ball to the opposite field down the line. I positioned my fielder and waited. 4 pitches later Ralph had a k and the team was feeling good. The second batter walked, the third batter popped up to the pitcher and Kareem was up, by far the most dominating slugger in the league. I refuse to intentionally walk anyone in little league and had coached the kids to pitch him low and outside, counseling them that I would rather him walk than demoralize us with a 300 foot home run. Second pitch they sent their runner and Kenny gunned him down, thus ending the inning and taking the bat out of their sluggers hands. We got shut out in the second and Ralph took command of the game in the second inning. The Giants had been taunting Ralph and said he pitched slow. Well, he struck out Kareem, shocking everyone watching the game, walked the next guy and then got a ground out and another k to end the second.

Kenny led off the third with a hit and promptly stole second.Anthony got a hit and moved him to third. Anthony stole second on the first pitch and did not draw the throw. Kenny scored on a wild pitch and Jeremy walked. Josh was at bat and Anthony scored on another wild pitch. Josh walked. Kevin at bat and he hit a bouncer up the middle. It was a hard play and Kevin beat the trow from short as Jeremy scored while the ball fell from the firstbaseman's glove. Coach Chris had told Josh to round the base and Josh interpreted that to try and score. It was a much closer play than it should have been, but he was the first out of the inning. Ralph and Tytee both took called third strikes, but we were up 4-0 going into the bottom of the third.
The Giants hit a scorcher to short that Anthony handled like a pro and Jeremy made a nice catch at first of a somewhat errant throw. The next batter grounded to the pitcher and the last batter in the order was up. The commish, forced into ump duty, called a ball 4 on a full-count (I think he squeezed my boy) and Josh hit the ball exactly where he always does, but it dropped right between my leftfielder and thirdbaseman. The next batter hit a routine grounder to Kevin at second, but he lifter his head and the ball went between his legs into rightfield. Both baserunners scored, but Tytee made a nice throw to Ralph (who was backing up the shortstop for some reason) and he rifled a throw to Josh at third for the final out of the inning. I was a bit pissed that they scored, but did not show it when the kids came in. Coach Chris pulled them together and praised them for pulling together so quickly in the face of a bad play and we told the kids to go get the runs back. We had runners on second and third with 2 outs and Anthony up, but all he could do was ground out weakly to second base.

The Giants had their 3-4-5 hitters due up in the 4th. We kept Ralph on the mound. The first batter, Joey, grounded out to short. Kareem again struck out and the next batter lofted a fly ball to right. I was thinking at least there are two outs in case this ball drops in when Tytee gracefully settled under the ball and it thumped into her mitt with a resounding 3rd out sound. I cheered like we just won the game. The kids all mobbed Tytee in the field, damn near carrying her off in triumph and the team was feeling good and playing loose. I can admit that I had a tear of happiness in my eye over that successful catch. She has really been working hard at practice and has really been working on her fielding abilities. I was beaming proud at that moment, but we still had 2 big innings to go.

They brought in Kareem to start the 5th inning. Jeremy hit a single and promptly stole 2nd, 3rd and home within the next 4 pitches. I think that really rattled their team scoring so quickly off their ace. He shut us down and the coaches decided to send Ralph out for one more inning. It was hot and we did not want to lose because he was too tired. They led off with a little-ass 20 foot single and then hit a shot to Anthony who was able to get the lead runner. Guy on first, one out. Corey, who often practices with me and is always at the fields, was at bat. His coach told me he had not had a hit all year, but he also started the year with a broken foot. Ralph hung one in there and Corey hit a blast. I thought it would be a homer, but Quincy raced to the ball and was able to contain it to a triple. I waked out to talk with Ralph, who was beginning to look tired.
"How you feeling?"
"O.K." said the boy of few words.
"You think you can get me these last two batters?"
"Yeah."
"These are the last two kids in the order, they are pissy-assed scared of anything you throw, just toss some strikes to Kenny, O.K.?"
"O.K."
And he did just that, striking them both out to end the inning. We were up 5-3 with one very long inning to endure, but I knew we were closing the game with our stud pitcher.

Tytee led off the 6th and looked nervous because Kareem was pitching. Kareem has had a shine for tytee all year and I pulled her aside, put both my hands on her shoulders and pulled her real close.
"Listen, you have to trust me on this girl, I guarantee you, he is infinitely more nervous pitching to you than you are of facing him. You got that?"
"O.K. coach, I'll do my best." she smiled and proceeded to skip her way to the batter's box while humming a song. The first pitch was in the dirt, the next way outside. The third pitch was over her head and you could see the smitten hurler having trouble on the mound. He finally put one over, and I told her to watch the next pitch closely. It bounced off the plate. She immediately stole second and third (she is incredibly fast when she runs hard), but the next three batters all whiffed. I was getting nervous for the whole team. The Giants are a veteran team and I have seen them come back from deficeits so many times. Even with Anthony on the mound I was nervous. They had they top of their order up and I had my stud on the mound. Best against best. It had been a quick game and a very well played game up to this point in the tilt.

Josh led off the fateful last inning. After about 5 pitches, Anthony got him swinging. He then got a quick 0-2 count and I was about to breathe when he plunked the kid in the shoulder on the 0-2 pitch. He then walked the next batter. 2 on, 1 out. Nerves were a- rattlin' in the old coach. Kareem was up. Everyone expected me to walk him but I don't play that style of ball, it smacks of pussyism to me and I feel we have to win it on the field, power against power. I figured Kareem was a bit flustered with his previous 2 k's and may be pressing. Anthony got him to 1-2 when Kareem hit the longest, highest pop-up in league history right in front of the plate. A home run in an elevator shaft is what the Gunner (Pirate announcer from my youth) used to call it. We all just stood and watched as Kenny jumped up, settled under it and watched as it hit the ground and then his shinguard, thus keeping the ball fair. We never really coach that play since with backstops, there is rarely ever a popup of that magnitude occurring. If he had turned his back to the pitcher, it would have rolled foul, but it was probably best their slugger was held to a single on that play. At least it wasn't a home run and because it was a popup, the runners had stayed close, so now it was bases loaded, 1-out and coach had to stroll away from the bench to ensure the team did nothear me cursing. It seemed as if this was where the game was going to turn from us. I quickly realized I had to return to my duties. I jumped up on the bench, positioned my fielders and drew the infield in to play for the force at home. On a 1-0 pitch, Elizar hit a shot into centerfield. The runners took off anticipating a come-from-behind victory when Clayvon ran in and snared the ball before it hit the ground. I started bellowing, "SECOND BASE! THROW IT TO SECOND BASE!" which he promptly did for the force and the team went wild with the game-ending double play.

We played a good game and made the most of what we could with the offense. They struck us out for 15 of our 18 outs, but we used our 7 hits and 6 walks well. All the batting practice is also helping our fielding. We had 9 fielded outs and got 2 more outs on the base paths. Other than Kevin's miscue and Kenny letting the popup drop in front of him, we played a flawless game. We gave up 1 earned run and 3 total to a team that had scored 12, 21, 18, 21, 14 and 12 runs in their previous 6 games. The kids once again chose pizza over push-ups for their post-game celebration. We told the kids they did real well and should be proud that they overcame the couple bad plays they had committed. We pointed out how it took so many of them working together to pull out the win and that all the cheering on the bench is what made the difference. Kenny chose to wear his shin guards to the pizzeria and Clayvon, after his impromtu rap session in the dugout in the 6th inning had to, of course, play his ringtone that turns Kenny into Pavlov's dog. Clayvon even gave me credit for helping in the win by admitting he was not thinking about throwing to second base until he heard my yelling. The game ball went to none other than our own Mr. Met, Ralph, or the Ralphinator as I now call him when he is on the mound. We went back to the fields and I had to wait around for the last game to end so I could gather the league equipment. The kids asked if I would pitch to them in a pick-up game. Both Coach Chris and I agreed to do so. It was fun for a while, but you can gauge the decompensation of the event by a few factors. First they start sitting in the backstop area instead of the dugout. Then a couple of them quit going into the field. Finally, they start throwing stuff around and it becomes mayhem. When I saw Jeremy go down in a heap yelling, "You got me in the balls!", I knew it was time to end this game. 5 hours of little league is enough in one day for me. I made sure our boy was O.K. and went to watch the last game. Anthony hung out with me, partly to abuse me since the Yankees had beat the Pirates the night before and we had a milkshake bet on the 3 game series. Most of the team was hanging around the fields when I was leaving and I went to them all and congratulated them on the win and reminded them of practice on Monday. "P.M." we all said laughing and it was just a good feeling going home and rehashing the game and thinking some of the hard work we have all been doing may be paying off. Anthony called and the timing of the call was suspiciously close to the ending of the afternoon Yankee-Pirate game. He was laughing and asked when could he collect his milkshake and we set a payoff date for the next afternoon. But even that couldn't get the smile off my face that day.

This weeks results:

Giants 12 ---- SoTruck 7 (Thursday)

Sunset Park 16 ---- LICH 1 (Friday)

Defenders 5 ---- Giants 3

Sunset Park 12 ---- Heroes 6

SoTruck 24 ---- LICH 2

STANDINGS AS OF JUNE 9, 2007

Gibbs' Giants 7-2

Southern Trucking 7-2

Nick.com Defenders 5-4

Hynes' Heroes 3-5

Sunset Park 3-5

LICH 0-7

Next game: Saturday June 16 @ 10:00am vs. LICH (final regular season game)

Defenders--Game 8

Jeremy throwing first pitch--June 2, 2007


Practice week after the Memorial Day weekend layoff is usually where the team loses a stragler or two and seldom do 9 or more show for practice. [editors note: we had a Memorial Day weekend scrimmage which will be discussed in a near-future posting] This year saw the pattern of low practice turnout continue. Our first scheduled practice saw about 6 players appear. Taylor was again absent and has been missing a lot lately. Rumors are also circulating that she is hanging out with an unsavory crowd and I will address both of these issues with her soon. We warmed up by tossing the ball around and I hit some infield to the crew that was there. Anthony, who is quickly turning into our own T.O., has been getting lazy in the field and is recently prone to blaming everything and everyone for his miscues. "I thought he was getting it.", "I wasn't ready.", "Iwasn't looking.", "He was too close to me." I swear he would blame global warning if he had a chance. His whining is spreading to Josh and we need to get a grip on this malaise that is consuming our squad. The biggest source of the teams consternation is Joel and Kevin. It started slowly and has gotten out of control. Those two get blamed and yelled at by most of the team and the coaches are on the lookout for it and are ready to pounce at any misdirected blame.


I decided that we would hit some bp via our now regular speed drill bp routine, and I called the team in to assign spots. They started bitching about Kevin for some illusory transgression and I yelled at them to all shut up. At this point Taylor's mom was at the nearby bus stop and motioned to talk to me. We compared notes and concluded that Taylor was indeed playing us off of each other and we would tighten the net around the girl and get her back to her regular practice routine. I came back to the kids throwing dirt and chasing each other around the backstop. I yelled again and they all simultaneously tried pleading their case. I told them they were pushing things and they needed to shut up, get focused and start acting as a team. I told them what we were going to do, went to get a drink of water and returned to mayhem (I walked 40 feet away for 20 seconds). I returned to dirt throwing and name calling. I imploded. I started packing the gear, called them a couple of mild names (none of them curses) and told them I was ending practice. They looked shocked and sat on the dugout bench. I addressed them as a team and focused most of my yelling at Josh and Anthony. I think Anthony was near tears (he is the opposite of Kenny when you yell at him--Kenny takes it as a challenge, Anthony gets extremely offended) and I told them I was going to be a 'Saturday coach' and would show up for games and do nothing else. "When is the next practice?" one of the kids asked.
"I don't know if there is going to be one." I sternly sated as I began to triumphantly storm off the field amongst a bunch of bruised 13-year-old egos. Just as I got to the end of the dugout I saw Clayvon and Tytee's gear and realized that I had promised the two of them I would watch their stuff while they retreived their younger siblings from the nearby after-school program, a normal practice occurrence for these two. So intstead of storming off, I slithered into the bleachers and just sat fuming, and ignored the kids as they continued to practice on their own.

I took Jeremy, Clayvon and Tytee to the batting cages on Wednesday and told them I was rewarding them for being the only team members who were not terrorizing the two brothers (Kevin and Joel). Ralph is also on that list, but he has an extremely overprotective mother and I was not ready to try and get involved in that dynamic. Ralph is by far the quietest kid you can ever coach. You have to ask him 3 questions if you want three words out of him. "Yeah." and "O.K." are about the only two words you will ever get out of him, and he will play any position or do anything on the field you ask of him and he does it all with a simple, very quiet, "O.K."

We had another practice Thursday before our big game against Hynes' Heroes. The winner would be the favorite to capture the #3 seed in the playoffs and the difference between the #5 and #6 teams are pretty big, so that seeding will have an impact on how we align our pitching for the playoffs. I had called every kid and told them not to be late. Coach Chris and I decided we were going to give these kids a taste of a sports practice circa 1960's-1970's. 4 kids showed on time. Kenny and Josh were 3 minutes late. Kenny, who had blown off Tuesday's practice at the last moment (actually as I was walking to the field) with some mysterious water-bourne illness he allegedly contracted while at Virginia Beach the weekend before. It was a load of hooey. I had let Kenny borrow the catchers mitt, and it is heretofore unheard of for the coach to let any kid borrow equipment. That has been a bright-line rule for the team for years. So when he arrived late I stopped him in front of the team and took the mitt from his bag. It was like decommissioning an officer in the field. He argued meekly but he could see I had an attitude.

"And, you and Josh owe me a lap--gate to gate." a trek across two fields and back. He again tried arguing and accused me of only picking on him. They both ran and started practice. Ralph showed up late and he had to run as well. I pointed this out to Kenny who had a slight smile on his face but said nothing. Tytee and Clayvon blew off practice and I was a bit ticked about that event. Taylor was again absent after being told to be there. Christian was also absent for the second time that week and is constantly in trouble with me, school or his parents. He, handsdown, has the worst shithead attitude on the team. Coach Chris saw Alex, erstwhile coach of LICH and the Uncle and/or Grandfather of Kevin and Joel. He needed to get a permission slip signed for a summer camp we wanted to get the kids to join. We decided this woould be a good time to finally clear up the mystery of the family geneaology and Coach Chris flat-out asked him, "Are you their Uncle or grandfather?" to which Alex responded with a simple, "Yes." And, as they say, that will be that. We had a good, aggressive bp and every request or statement by any player was met with a sneer, growl or complete ignoring of the kid. They were beginning to sense a new sheriff in town kind of attitude. I felt we were having a good practice and a coach from a squad who will be playing this summer asked if we wanted to scrimmage. Their kids were all about 10-11 years old and this was their second practice. I felt our team would smoke these kids, but I accepted the challenge and instructed our kids to not go for the jugular, but to play hard and have fun but not try and show the younger, newer kids up.

Their team had a couple of decent players and a couple who looked way out of place. They put a kid at catcher who looked totally out of place. He wore shorts that kids in the 1960's wore and had a very timid look about him. I felt he either was mildly retarded or English, but either way I was worried about him behind the plate. I gave him our equipment to use and did not try to move him when he positioned himself 15 feet behind the batter. it was a good scrimmage--our kids hit well and ran well although I would not let them steal. I let Joel play second base and he was so thankful you'd of thought I gave him a hundred dollar bill. Kenny and Anthony deliberately misplayed a couple of balls in an effort to even things up and I yelled at them.

"Coach, we are doing it on purpose to let them stay close." pleaded Kenny. "I know." I said softly, "And so am I. I am yelling at you to make it look good." and we all went back to our positions. I was pitching so the other kids could hit the ball, and I let the kids play any position they wanted. I got in on the fun and fielded a ball and threw it real hard to Josh at first, but purposefully high. His eyes got as big as saucers and you could tell he was relieved the ball was going to go over his head. The game ended in a tie, and Sonia, who had arrived as we started the scrimmage, and Coach Chris and I all were proud of how our team had acted. That feeling lasted about 25 seconds.

Anthony and Josh and a few others were chasing Kevin around and it escalated into a near brawl. In the middle of all this was a former player from another team that was loitering in our dugout during the scrimmage. It decompensated very quickly and Anthony stormed off, muttering like a whiner admidst shouts of "Quit if you want, I do not care!" and "I never said I wanted to quit but I will if you want me to!" Kenny, Josh and Jeremy were still there and caught the wrath of coach. We have a 5 push-ups per curse rule on the team and I quickly garned about 100 of them in 2 sentences. Punk-ass bullies, dickheads and a few other less suitable for printing were hurled towards the kids. Kenny tried mounting a defense but was shot down by a stern look from Sonia. Kenny was trying to point out he was not involved in the chasing and I pointed out that as a teammate and team leader, he was supposed to do more. After my initial tirade, we were able to have a sembelance of a talk and it will be interesting to see how this all affects the team psyche.

Kevin

After the Thursday tirade, the 3 coaches there decided to have an after practice meeting to share a bite of food and discuss possible team strategies that had little to do with on-field performance. It was a good coaches meeting and lasted longer than we expected. There were reports of numerous headaches and slow mornings amongst the coaches the next day.

Friday I called Jeremy and asked him if he wanted to get some pitching practice in since he would be our starter the next day. I made him call Anthony and invite him as well. I met Jeremy on the walk to the field and he suggested that Anthony hear the 'speech' I shared with the others the night before. I asked him why did he think I wanted Anthony there, and he realized coach just may not be as dumb as he looks. We had a good pitching session and we have been working real hard with Jeremy and Ralph to develop another pitcher behind Anthony. Jeremy is finally getting consistent with his motion and as we were practicing one of the kid-kicker-offer leagues was gearing up for a game. I was actually glad since I did not want to throw too much with Jeremy and as we were packing our gear the softball coach came over and asked if Jeremy could play for them since they were short some players. Acting as guardian ad litum for the boy, I approved of the request and Anthony arrived as Jeremy was warming up with the team. Anthony and I had a repeat of the previous day's conversation, albeit a pg rated version, and I was impressed that the first thing he had done when arriving was apologize and offer a handshake. His psyche is a bit more delicate that the other kids so I explained to him why his actions were so important to the rest of the team. It was a good chat and as we were finishing up the softball coach came by and asked if I could play since they needed another body in the field. I have to confess that I accepted and played in the game for a team within the league that I often have nothing but derisive remarks. I justified my playing by realizing there were no kids or teams at the fields that day and we were not impeding on any kid getting to play. And I thought it would be a good opportunity to show the boys that I play how I preach. Without bragging, I have to report I hit a 2 run single my first ab and ended up 3-4, including legging out a grounder to short, and fielded all 3 of my chances in the field. And to prove my earlier written rantings correct, the team we played had two guys playing with dress socks on. Anthony was impressed with my play and Jeremy was 2-4 and had a nice running catch in the outfield. I felt our team was ready to play on Saturday.

Saturday morning saw our opponents with 10 players warming up and we had 4. Not good numbers. A few more green-capped kids, walking in a slumber, appeared and we had 8--enough to play. Anthony was missing and a quick call revealed he overslept. Joel arrived and Anthony appeared right as we had to take the field. I was able to keep Christian on the bench for his repeated transgression of disrespecting coaches from another team. Taylor arrived sometime in the second inning.

We were the home team and started the game with a strikeout. The next batter walked, tried to

steal and a good throw catches him in a rundown. It was not a good throw and it went by our ss, 2b and cf. Jeremy then struck out the next 2 and we were down 1-0, coming to bat. Heroes were pitching Carlos, definitely 1 of the top 3 kids in the league and he throws strikes. He had been late arriving and did not warm up. He walked the first two batters and Kenny scored on a single by Jeremy. Josh and Clayvon both made outs and with Kevin due up, I thought we would strand guys at 2nd and 3rd. Kevin hit a ball up the middle and we were able to push another run across. Jeremy got tossed out at home trying to score on a passed ball and we were up 2-1 after 1. Both sides were scoreless in the second and they scored twice in the third, one of them on another Kenny throwing error. Our first two batters struck out in the third and with Joel, he of 7 straight k's coming to bat, we figured it would be a quick inning. However, he walked and Kenny hit a hard shot to third. The fielder threw a soft toss to the rather corpulant firstbaseman and as the fielder reached for the ball he lost his balance and fell face first into the ground. As he thumped to the ground with a thud, the ball slowly rolled out of his glove and Joel scampered around the bases with Kenny hot on his tail. When Joel got to third, Coach Chris was in pure coach form and was widmilling the boy on towards home. Joel, who hates running drills, ran more on that play than he had all year as the firstbaseman wallowed in the dirt pawing for the loose ball just out of his reach. We tied the game and Kenny got stranded at third. The inning was delayed while we had what seemed to be a mini-brawl among the Giant players in right field during the inning. When the ump went to yell at them to get off the field, it became clear that the instigator of the situation was our fearless commish who had engaged in a wrestling match with about 6 of the players. He did not appear to fare as well as I did against Kenny in the wrestling forum.

Fearless Commish James

Jeremy pitched the fourth and was looking tired in the heat. He walked the botttom of the line-up to load the bases and plunked a kid to bring in a run. Anthony made a nice snare of a line drive down the first base line to save 2-3 runs and with the infield playing in, Kevin made a nice play to get the lead runner at the plate. We were shut out in our half of the inning and we sent Ralph to the mound. It had finally dawned on the coaches that since Ralph was so agreeable and would do whatever you told him, "Go to third." "Go to left." "Go in and bunt some." "Go take a seat on the bench." and every request is met with a simple, "O.K." So it went to reason that with his good arm that if we told Ralph, "Go out there and throw some strikes." he would and he did. The first batter grounded out to short which Josh promptly threw into the stands (o.k., it was really against the chain-link fence, but it sounds better the other way). Kenny then threw the ball into cf (again) on an attempted steal and we were down 5-3. Ralph then proceeded to strike out the next three batters and the ump told us our ab's would be our last chance since the dreaded time-limit rule was being enforced. With the top of our order and top 3 batters coming up, I figured we could not ask for a better situation. Inexplicably, they took Carlos out and put in the corpulant firstbaseman to pitch. It was about this time when Sonia discovered Kenny had 2 cans of Red Bull (a highly caffeinated drink) and was about to open one.

"NO! You cannot have a Red Bull, Kenny." said Sonia and I quickly joined in the ban and told him of all people on the team, he was in the least need of having more energy. Although we told him he should not drink the stuff at all, we decided that he could drink it before he went home, but after we were done with him for the day.

If you have never watched latin-dominated little league, it is a different experience than your suburban, white-bread brand of ball. The kids chant more and at times sing songs of some sort towards the opposing team. They are very rythymic and catchy. Kevin had been chanting at Carlos and it seemed to affect the pitcher. I was into the chant and was humming it to myself when Carlos looked over at Kevin angrily, shouted something at him in Spanish and feigned throwing the ball at him. I asked one of the kids what it was Kevin was chanting, and after a brief hesitation, I was told he was saying "Hey dominican kid, you can't pitch." (Kevin is from PR) Somehow, I felt the translation was being censored, so I told them to start cheering for our kids and quit jeering the other team. Privately, I have to admire some of the jeers they come up with. They call Ernesto (a really nice kid) from Southern Trucking, Chia Pet, because of his huge curly fro that gets squished under his cap, and there is a kid on the Giants that Kenny calls Peter Griffin (from the cartoon Family Guy) beacause of a similar looking cleft chin.

Anyway, we were down 5-3 with our last licks coming up. Kenny got on with a single, stole second and third. We had tried telling him to be cautious on the bases since his run, without others following, was worthless. He somehow took umbrage at this comment but knew to stay on third. Anthony hit a chopper to third and Kenny broke for the plate. Instead of going for the sure out he threw home, wildly, and we scored and had a guy on second. Jeremy was up. He had hit two balls to right earlier and the secondbaseman was playing 6 feet from second and the rightfielder was literally playing the line. I took Jeremy aside and told him when he hit the ball to right that he was to keep running right on through to home, aided by the now famous windmilling Coach Chris. Believe it or not, on the second pitch he did exactly what I told him and we ended up with a come from behind, last inning win on a 2 run walk-off hr. The team was estatic and the only down side to the day was both Taylor and Christian stayed on the bench--it was truly one of those 'this hurts me more than it does you' moments' although the two of them were not buying into the concept at the moment. We had the obligatory post-game pizza celebration and scheduled the next week's practices. Clayvon and Kenny did their ridiculous dance to the ringtone on Clayvon's phone and Clayvon, unable to help himself, kept playing the ringtone, knowing he could induce Kenny into the bizarre behavior at whim.

Kevin, Kenny, Tytee and Coach Chris at the pizza celebration

We went back to the fields to watch the remaining games and bask in the glory of our win. Anthony explained, upon being asked by the commish, that the reason he had been so late was that 'apparently a breaker went off and shut down his alarm'. The commish loved the irony of a Defender player dending himself with such qualifying language and I offered to wake our mini-A-Rod up for future games. As I watched the games, a group of our players and the Southern Trucking players were jostling around on another field. I decided I did not need to interfere until a 6 year-old kid came up to me and said matter-of-factly that a group of players had jumped Christian and were hitting him with a bat. What a surprise--the smallest kid with the biggest mouth getting in trouble. I started to walk towards the group and they all fled, including Christian. I felt pretty flushed with power. The game I was watching ended and I went about my chore of collecting the bases to store in the defendermobile. Christian walked by and told me they hit him in the head with a bat. Realizing there may be a modicum of merit to his claim, I feigned interest in his injury as he doffed his cap to show me the horrific injury. His sweaty hair was matted down and there was no other bump, bruise or sign of any injury, thus justifying my earlier feigning.

"See?" he said.

"Yeah." I replied as I trudged towards the car with the equipment. And that was the end of the discussion and investigation. I had been at the fields since 7:30 a.m. and it was nearing 2:00p.m. I loaded the car and took Kenny home before going to my place. Kenny told me they were painting his place and may not be moving to Florida after all. I had just got home and was enjoying some ice water and quiet when the phone rang.

"Coach, my mom says I am in the way of them painting and will pay for you to take me to the batting cages."

"Now?" I asked incredulously, while privately realizing the Red Bull must be kicking in on him right about now.

"Yeah."

"Kenny, I need to take a break, maybe a little later." knowing full well I was flat-out lying and that his mom did not have enough money to pay me to take him to the cages at this point in time.

"O.K." he said, "I'll check with you later."

We both hung up and coach turned off his phone knowing that would be the only way to get some peace the rest of the day.

The weeks results:

Nick.com Defenders 6

Hynes' Heroes 5

SoTruck 9

Sunset Park 8

Gibb's Giants 21

LICH 3

Giants 6-1

SoTruck 6-1

Defenders 4-4

Heroes 3-4

Sunset Park 1-5

LICH 0-5

As always, updates to follow.